iSawNEWS » Disney World

Florida Local vs. Tourist – Why the locals hate you.

Admin — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:33:32 +0000

Welcome to Florida. Kind of.

I have visited many vacation destinations over my lifetime.

I’ve been to Europe, Jamaica, the Bahamas, Mexico, Canada, and all across the United States. And almost everywhere I go, the locals welcome tourists with open arms and open palms, taking your money and ignorance about their culture with a smile.

Italians don’t mind that you don’t speak the language. Mexicans are thrilled that you didn’t bother to exchange your foreign currency. Even New Yorkers, while annoyed that you’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring up at the skyline, are happy to give you directions to the best bagel shop in the area – while also telling you the best place to get a pizza later on in the day.

Travel guides talk incessantly about “local favorites” and “tips from locals”. The locals, it seems, hold the secret keys to any tourist’s perfect vacation.

Except in Florida.

Native Floridians hate tourists.

No, they do not know how to get you into Disney for free. No, they do not think that it is awesome that it is still 100 degrees out in October. And by the way, can you please stay the hell of the Interstate during our commute? Thanks.

The worst person to ask for advice on your Florida vacation is a true Florida local.

Technically, there are two kinds of people who live in Florida. On one hand, you have the Florida transplant (like me). These people (like me) love Florida and amusement parks and beaches and are more than happy to share this magical place with you. Florida transplants live in Florida by choice. They came here on a vacation once and, for whatever reason, decided to make the Sunshine State their permanent home. You can recognize a Florida transplant by their tanned skin, slow moving attitude, and New York accent.

On the other hand, you have the Florida native who was born and raised in Florida and, for whatever reason, still lives here. They hate the weather and the humidity, and they can’t imagine why anyone would go to Disney World in the summer. In fact, they haven’t been anywhere near “the parks” in several years. (Unless they have kids, in which case, they go to the parks around major holidays or when grandparents are visiting.)

I was speaking to a group of Floridians recently about the dichotomy in attitudes between natives and transplants. My fellow transplants and I marveled at how welcoming other transplants were of newcomers and tourists and how differently the natives seemed to view the… er… guests.

And then a native Floridian explained, very clearly, the entire Florida local attitude for me in one statement.

“We’re not on &%$*!# vacation!”

And there it was. There, in that declaration, was the reason why Florida locals (the native kind, at least) hated tourists. It was the reason they complained about slow moving traffic and “idiots on the beach”. It was the sentiment that explained why they resented the amusement parks guests who make it possible for Florida to go without a state income tax.

The natives, unlike the tourists (and to some extent, the transplants), are keenly aware of the fact that they are not on vacation. And you are. You are, perpetually it seems, on &%$*!# vacation.

The word bitter comes to mind.

How can you use this information to enhance your Florida vacation?

1. Don’t email the person you know who has lived in Florida their entire life for vacation tips. They have very little insider information about taking a vacation in Florida. And no, they probably can’t get you into the parks for free. (Unless they work there, and then you better be really good friends or next of kin to be asking.)

2. Do email the person you know who has recently move to Florid for vacation tips. They are probably still in love with the idea of Florida. They spend their free weekends taking advantage of the beaches and hunting down new things to do in the area. But, no, they probably can’t get you into the parks for free either.

3. Don’t ask the guy with Florida plates and a UFC bumper sticker for directions. They already hate you.

4. Do ask the guy with a Yankees cap and out of state plates for directions. He probably lives here and just hasn’t changed his plates yet, and he’s still in a good mood about the fact that it doesn’t ever snow here.

Photo by Karen Horton on Flickr.

Read full article…

Other Headlines

Fall: The Best Time To Visit Florida

Admin — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:42:05 +0000

As a Floridian, it’s your job to promote tourism in exchange for not having to pay state income taxes. They put the oath in your welcome packet when you move into the state. The oath starts out, “Thou shall respect The Mouse…”

Needless to say, I took a risk when I told you that Disney World sucks in the summer.

But, I am here to redeem myself and Florida by inviting you, officially, to visit Florida at the absolute best time of year.

Right now.

The best time to visit Florida is in the fall.

And do you know what makes Florida such a great place to visit in the fall? The fact that no one visits Florida in the fall. Basically.

If you’re headed to Florida to enjoy the beaches, you’ll find miles of sand and surf all to yourself – and the weather is still warm enough to enjoy a swim in the ocean or the Gulf. If amusement parks are more your style, you’ll find shorter lines and less soul crushing humidity.

On the down side, autumn falls squarely at the end of hurricane season in Florida. As in – before it’s actually over. So you do run the risk of having your vacation cut short by a tropical storm or a full on hurricane. BUT! If you’re willing to take that chance, you’ll also find great hurricane season rates on everything from cruise ships to ocean front hotels. The risk taker gets the deal, in this case.

Just get here before Thanksgiving. The closer you get to the winter holidays, the lower the temperatures and the more tourists you’ll have to contend with. Dang tourists!

Photo by Britt Reints. Or maybe her husband. But Britt Reints totally owns it and has permission to use it.

Read full article…

Other Headlines

What To Do When Your Kids Hate Your Family Vacation

Admin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:56:15 +0000

This isn't my friend's kid – but it could be.

A friend of mine is visiting Orlando with her son right now. She and her husband saved for this family vacation for over a year. She had done her research, made her schedules, and planned the perfect Florida vacation for her family.

At least, that’s what she thought.

I received a frantic text message from her early this morning:

Help! Travis hates Universal! What do I do for the rest of our days here?

As it turns out, her son isn’t really into amusement parks. Which would be fine, except they had carefully planned their Orlando vacation around visiting the amusement parks. They booked a centrally located hotel that provided shuttle services to and from the parks – negating the need for a rental car.

He better start having fun soon or I’m going to go ballistic!

Ah, yes. The familiar cries of a mother who’s watching her savings and planning and dreams of magical memories go up in a cloud of tears.

It happens. In fact, it happens a lot. Sure, there are steps you can take to plan for a happy vacation with kids – but all the planning in the world can still blow up in your face and leave you wondering why in the heck you spent all this money for everyone to have a good time!

Then what?

What To Do When Your Kids Hate Your Family Vacation

1. Relax. Stop and breathe. The more they get worked up, the more you get worked up. The more you get worked up, the more they’ll get worked up. And then someone is crying on the carousel and you’re hiding your face from the strangers who heard you yell at your kids at Disney World. Take a moment, step back, and chill out. It’s up to you to stop the cycle.

2. Forget about your perfect vacation. The number one vacation killer is unrealistic expectations. Believe me when I tell you that, this is perfectly normal. It happens to everyone. Forget about the themed scrapbook pages you have sitting at home, waiting to be filled with pictures of your smiling children. Forget every TV commercial you’ve ever seen telling you to getaway and relax and enjoy the pleasure of one another’s company. It’s all crap.

3. Scrap your plans – even if it means losing money. Cut your losses. Even if you have another day on your amusement park passes, if the kids – and therefore, you – are having a miserable time, don’t go back to the amusement park. (I know, this all sounds like common sense reading it now, doesn’t it?)

4. Confide in your concierge. A good hotel will have a knowledgeable staff that can give you new ideas for things to do in the area. Be ready to explain that you’ve already tried that and are looking for something a bit different. Ask them what they do with their kids on the weekend.

5. Ask your kids. The best person to tell you what your child is in the mood to do is, coincidentally, your child. Ask for their input. Giving your kids a sense of control over their vacation will make them much more inclined to be cooperative and enjoyable.

6. Do the free, easy stuff. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune for it to be considered fun or “official vacation activity”. Go to the beach. Or, better yet, hang out in your hotel’s pool. Kids are impressed with hotel pools. Indoor, outdoor, water slide, or mediocre hole in the floor with chlorinated water in it – your kids can spend hours in the pool without feeling like they’re missing out on anything.

7. Try again. After you’ve taken a day – or an afternoon – off from your perfect schedule, talk about going back to your plans. Maybe once everyone has had a chance to regroup and actually relax, you’ll all be in more of a perfect family vacation mood.

Or maybe you won’t.

In which case, go to the park and then threaten to ground them for life if they don’t start having fun.

Photo by roy on Flickr

Read full article…

Other Headlines

Walt Disney World monorail crash kills employee (AP)

Admin — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:19:13 +0000

AP – Officials at Walt Disney World Resort were investigating what caused the first fatal accident in the 38-year history of the park’s Monorail, a one-time symbol of founder Walt Disney’s vision for future transportation.

Read full article…

Other Headlines

Federal agency probes Disney World monorail death (AP)

Admin — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:19:00 +0000

AP – Federal workplace investigators are looking into the monorail crash at Walt Disney World that killed a train operator.
Read full article…

Other Headlines

5 Reasons Not To Go To Disney World On Your Summer Vacation

Admin — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:27:14 +0000

He's trying to tell you to turn around and come back in the fall

If the Orlando tourism people ask, you didn’t hear this from me.

I’m pretty sure I could have my Florida driver’s license revoked for what I’m about to tell you.

*deep breath*

Disney World sucks in the summer.

It’s true. Tell a Florida resident that you’re planning to visit Disney World in June, July or August and you’ll be met with a look of confusion and pity. And possibly a little smugness because clearly you are not as “in the know” as the locals are.

Yes, we know, it’s the happiest place on earth. From October to April, many of us wholeheartedly agree that Disney World rocks. We’re iffy on September and May, but we’ll let those months slide. But a visit to Disney World during the height of summer?

No way.

5 Reasons Why Disney World Sucks (In The Summer)

A magical concrete jungle

1. The heat.

I love warm weather. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons I moved to Florida in the first place. I can even tolerate the 100+ degree heat that is prevalent all summer long. What I cannot tolerate is 100+ degree heat in the middle of miles and miles of concrete, with precious few shaded areas as big as my thumb. The air is heavy and sticky and hot and the misting fans do very little to relieve the oppressive heat.

2. The lines.

Magical lines.

Despite the fact that the summer season provides the worst climate for enjoying Disney World, tourists from all over the world still visit in droves all summer long. Plan to wait 45 minutes for everything – from a hot dog to a character meeting – on almost any summer day. If you’ve got your heart set on hitting one of the more popular rides, you could spend hours waiting for your turn.

But, hey – what little kid doesn’t love standing in line for hours, right?

3. The crowds.

Magical crowds… as far as the eye can see!

Forget the lines. Try walking to a bathroom. Or getting through the front gate. The sheer volume of people milling around Disney World during the summer makes simple navigation agonizing. You’ll spend your entire day shoulder to shoulder with strangers and strollers.

4. The cost.

Sure, Disney World is always expensive. If you’re planning a trip to Disney World you’re already prepared to shell out lots and lots of cash. But if you’re traveling in the summer, be prepared to pay a premium for everything. The best deals on everything from park admission to Disney hotels are usually found during the fall and winter months.

5. Thunderstorms. Oh, and hurricanes.

Now doesn't that look HAPPY?

Summer is Florida’s rainy season. It is also hurricane season. Chances are very good that at least one part of your vacation will be rained out by an afternoon shower – if not completely ruined by high winds and federal evacuations.

Now, none of these things seem that bad – on their own. But add it all up and you have a recipe for hot, tired, crabby kids (and adults), spending hours on end standing in line and crammed up against thousands of other hot, tired, crabby kids (and adults). OOH! That sounds like fun!

Or not.

If you’re dying to visit Disney World (and truly, I actually like Disney World), consider visiting in October when the weather has cooled and the crowds have thinned considerably.

If you absolutely must visit Florida in the summer, check out the beaches where you can get relief from the heat with a coastal breeze and water. Or skip Disney World and head to Universal Studios. Yes, it’s still hot, but Universal Studios offers an Express Pass ticket upgrade that allows you to skip the lines for every single ride, all day long. Eliminating the long lines makes the entire amusement park experience much more enjoyable.

Read full article…

Other Headlines

Woman in Disney abduction hoax to return to Pa. (AP)

Admin — Fri, 29 May 2009 14:13:29 +0000

AP – A woman accused in an abduction hoax that began near Philadelphia and ended at Walt Disney World waived her extradition rights and will be sent back to Pennsylvania to face charges of filing a false report and identity theft.

Read full article…

Other Headlines

DA: Missing Pa. mom, girl found at Disney World (AP)

Admin — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:51:00 +0000

AP – A suburban Philadelphia prosecutor says a woman who claimed she and her daughter had been abducted and stuffed in a car trunk will be charged with false reports and identity theft.
Read full article…

Other Headlines

19 Things To See In Florida

Admin — Thu, 21 May 2009 20:32:59 +0000

We’re always talking about things to do on vacation. But what about the things that require nothing from us but to open our eyes and take notice?

19 Things To See On A Florida Vacation

1. Sunrise on the beach

photo by Jimmy Joe

You can watch the sunrise over the Atlantic ocean off the eastern coast of Florida every morning. Every sunrise is a little different depending on the cloud coverage.

2. Pink flamingos

photo by deusXflorida

Pink flamingos aren’t just for lawn ornaments. Nearly every zoo and major park in Florida will have flamingos. In the wild, your best chance at seeing a flamingo is in parts of southern Florida that are less developed.

3. The lights turned on at the castle in Disney World’s Magic Kingdom

photo by dawnzy58

Sure, you have to pay the price of admission to get into Magic Kingdom. But the lights on the castle remain one of my favorite postcard perfect sights.

4. Orange trees

photo by robbie jim

There are citrus groves all over the state of Florida that allow public tours. If you’re interested in seeing this unique agriculture, check out a list of groves that are open to the public.

5. A White Ibis

photo by twoblueday

Unless you’re visiting from somewhere else in the southeast, chances are you won’t see a White Ibis at home. They can be found all over Florida in shallow bodies of water – whether that’s a lake or a pond, or a roadside ditch after a heavy rain.

6. A lifeguard stand on Miami Beach

photo by Joe Shlabotnik

Many of the lifeguard stands on Miami Beach were designed by local artists. They are a classic representation of the art-deco style that is so prominent in the Miami area. Many of these are being removed from the beaches now, but a few still stand ready to be photographed.

7. Starfish on the beach

photo by TheMarque

On any beach in Florida you’ll find buckets of seashells in all shapes and sizes. Less common are sand dollars and starfish. Of course you can always pick one up in a gift shop, but seeing these in their natural habitat is much more rewarding than anything you can buy in a souvenir shop.

8. Stiltsville – Miami, Florida

photo by tylerdurden1

Stiltsville is a group of wood stilt houses located just south of Cape Florida on Biscayne Bay in Miami-Dade County, Florida. They stand on pilings in water that’s 1-3 ft deep (depending on the tide). There’s only 7 of these houses left after recent hurricanes.

9. The Southernmost House in Key West

photo by Lee Coursey

The Southernmost House in the US is actually The Southernmost House Grand Hotel & Museum. The 1890s oceanfront mansion now offers 13 guestrooms and a museum on the first floor that features a collection of Hemingway artifacts.

10. Portuguese Man O’ War

photo by 2neus

Portuguese Man O’ War are typically thought of as “really big jellyfish”. There is a very scientific explanation for why that is not the case – but they do look like “really big jellyfish”. It’s not uncommon to see these washed up on the shores of Daytona Beach.

11. A launch at Kennedy Space Center

photo by Savannah Grandfather

Although NASA is said to have retired the shuttle program, they’re still shooting rockets into the sky from Kennedy Space Center. It really is a sight to behold – and one that can be seen and heard from miles and miles away.

12. Pelicans

photo by mandj98

Yes, they are real. On either coast, you’ll see pelicans scattered along the waterfront. It’s funny, as a local, to hear tourists arguing with each other about whether or not these birds are real or some kind of bizarre decoration. They sit so still and look a little surreal, until they dive bomb for a fish.

13. Palm Trees

photo by tanjila

Every time I step out of a Florida airport, the first thing I notice are the palm trees. The sight of these unusually shaped trees instantly relaxes me and puts me in a tropical state of mind.

14. Dolphins

photo by joshDubya

There are endless opportunities to see dolphins in Florida. You can watch them in shows at SeaWorld or pay to swim with them in Destin, Florida. But my favorite way to see them is in their natural habitat. Your best chance of catching a dolphin is on a boat excursion like the SeaLife Safari Eco-Tour in Clearwater, Florida.

15. Alligators

photo by Adam Baker

They say that every body of water – with the exception of the ocean and the Gulf – has at least one alligator in it. Personally, this is one animal I’d rather not see out in the wild. I much prefer watching them from a safe distance at Gatorland.

16. Manatees

photo by Allie Caufield

Commonly referred to as “sea cows”, manatees are one of the most unique creatures you’ll encounter in Florida. They’re huge, but extremely gentle and open to human contact. Again, you can see manatees somewhere like SeaWorld or pay to swim with them in the Crystal River. I’ve actually seen a manatee in the ocean at Daytona Beach. They also come further inland during the cold months to many of the springs. Blue Springs State Park in Central Florida gets hundreds of manatees a day during the winter months.

17. Surfers

photo by flasporty

You’re most likely to see people surfing in the Altantic Ocean off Florida’s eastern coast. Daytona Beach hosts surfing competitions several times a year and it really is amazing to watch people of all ages ride the waves.

18. Lighthouses

photo by kretyen

Florida is home to some of the oldest cities in the United States. Many of these coastal cities still have old lighthouses that can be toured. The St. Augustine lighthouse is a popular vacation destination, despite (or maybe because of) the fact that it’s supposed to be haunted.

19. Sunset on the beach

photo by markus941

Florida is unique in that you can watch the sun rise and set over the water, depending on which side of the state you’re on. If you’re looking to end the day with a beautiful sunset on the beach, make sure you’re on the western Gulf Coast by late afternoon.

When you’re planning your Florida vacation, make sure you bring a camera and plan to spend some time taking in the sights that can only be seen in the sunshine state.

Read full article…

Other Headlines

10 Worst Things About Florida

Admin — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:32:36 +0000

Florida proudly calls itself The Sunshine State. It offers beaches, oceans, gulf waters, islands and amusement parks galore. What’s not to love about a Florida vacation?

Well, since you asked…

10 Things That Can Go Wrong On A Florida Vacation

1. Shark Bites

New Smyrna Beach in Volusia county, Florida is the shark bite capital of the world. Granted, the locals will tell you that it’s highly unlikely you’ll die from a shark bite. “A shark will just take a little taste to see if you’re something good and then let go”, I’ve been assured. Doesn’t that make you feel much better?

2. Hurricanes

The Atlantic Hurricane Season runs from June 1st to November 30th. That’s roughly half the year, for those keeping track at home. Thinking of taking advantage of your children’s summer vacation with a trip to Florida? Be aware you’re heading out in prime hurricane season!

3. Rain

Chances are that you’ll get lucky and avoid a hurricane during your Florida vacation. But you’re almost guaranteed to experience at least one torrential downpour if you head to Florida from spring to fall. The locals don’t mind because it cools off the day and helps combat outrageous water bills. But a day at the beach? Plan an afternoon trip to some place with a roof.

4. Humidity

It is not a dry heat. Florida is great if you love warm weather. Just be prepared to mix that warmth with constant moisture in the air, a sticky feeling on your skin, and a head full of frizzy hair.

5. Fires

With all that rain and humidity, you’d think the wildfires would stay out west in California. But when it’s not raining, Florida is constantly battling drought conditions (something about the sun sucking up the moisture before anything has a chance to get too wet). You never know when a wildfire will hit the Florida brush – but you do know there’s plenty of kindling to be found thanks to the state’s robust plant life!

6. Sunburns

They don’t call it The Sunshine State for nothing. American tourists seem to forget that it’s warmer in Florida because the state is quite a bit closer to the equator. The sun is intense and even people who “never burn” and “tan easily” will learn the joys of sunburn and blisters if they don’t frequently apply sunblock. Yes, even you. No, really. Trust me.

7. Bug Bites

The only thing more important than sunblock on a Florida vacation is insect repellent. And even that probably won’t help you if you happen to step on a colony of fire ants. A can of bug spray should, however, help ward off the largest mosquitoes you’ll ever see in North America. I mean, you know, as long as you don’t miss a spot.

8. Alligators

It’s said that you can find at least one alligator in every single body of water in Florida. No joke. Florida residents with lakes and ponds behind their homes are warned to keep small pets inside if they want to avoid their furry friends becoming gator snacks. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission receives about 16,000 alligator-related complaints per year, and usually removes about 8,500 alligators because they’re considered a “danger to people or property”.

9. Red Tide

Red tide is the unofficial term for “lots and lots of algae in the water” – and it’s not good. Although no one has ever died from red tied (as far as we know), it can cause skin irritation, burning and possible respiratory problems. All of those things make for a fantastic vacation, obviously.

10. Traffic

Most cities in Florida have crappy public transportation systems – or none at all. Add to that the fact that many tourist destinations are outside of metropolitan areas (where public transportation systems would be impossible) or on remote islands accessible by narrow bridges, a large driving population of tourists and snow birds, and you’re pretty much guaranteed to find yourself sitting in traffic at some point during your vacation.

So, who’s ready for a trip to Disney World?

Read full article…