Blog Guy, I’m a U.S. businessman who wants to outsource jobs to China. First, I need to build a big factory and office over there. Do you know a good building firm?

Wait just a minute. You’ll pay through the nose for a “good” building firm. I strongly recommend you put together a team of recent carpentry grads from someplace like Shanghai Tool School.

Is that a good school?

There you go again, with that word “good.” All of their grads take an intensive two-week carpentry program.

Two weeks? For professional carpenters? I don’t know.

Look, these guys are eager to learn on the job. You should go for the ones with severe head wounds. Salary-wise, they’re not in a great negotiating position.

Thanks! Anybody I should avoid hiring?

Yeah, the students who majored in power drills. You’ll spot them easily.

e-mail this guy to someone who irritates you!

Local performers dressed as villains injured by tools during a traditional “Kuaihuo” parade at Chisha, Shaanxi province, China, February 8, 2009. “Kuaihuo” is a local traditional performance which originated from an ancient story. REUTERS/Reinhard Krause

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